DSF66 Topics: Choices, Responsibility, Forgiveness
Topics: Choices, Responsibility, Forgiveness
A very happy and glorious sunday to you all!
I am excited to be here today…
these topics are vital in the beginning of program and
we can create a new beginning at any time we wish but
we have to take an action and choose to do that for ourselves.
It is all up to us and
that is both fantastic and simultaneously terrifying.
I sure know I was terrified to focus on me and take responsibility-
this was three years ago (back in 2007) when
I found my true bottom
this gaping hole of insatiable absolutes. I am glad that hole no longer fuels and runs my life.
HP/god requires so much of us
if that is what we choose to follow.
I now see my choices in terms of light and/or dark spiritual energy.
You can go towards destruction or healthy living for YOU.
Al-anon/12 step programs are all about discovering who YOU truly are.
In the beginning (time) of program it is like you are
finding keys along the way
and learning to put them together to use them in succession or simultaneously.
Our lives are merely a consequence of the choices we make
it is NOT about “good” and/or a “bad” person
that’s a value, a judgment- that the human beings and the human being’s ego drives agree to place upon things and
do the judging, the condemning, the fighting and the backlash.
The revengeful angry thoughts, our incessant desire-drives (wants/fantasies)
it is all – so clear to me now – light or dark -
it is all about what is healthiest for you and what is not so healthy for — You – YOU.
Our life is about us, after all, it is a reflection of our beliefs in action.
When I began to become teachable in this program
it was well after I’d accomplished some other work-plateaus. They are like keys if you will imagine that and
they work in concert harmoniously all together.
This is the way of HP/god and peace-Love.
The energy of loving-ness,
loving the self, prioritizing the self is very important to do with respect, kindness and honor.
If you don’t love/value the self
how can any one else’s love – really get in to penetrate you?
See, we build these walls of fear, pain and desperation that our
unresolved hurts fester with puss and slip out all over the place inappropriately if we do not address them.
Yes – the awareness is painful.
Coming out of denial is a painful process
but I suggest a plan to find the real you now.
It is kind of like a meditation
and you have to get willing and be willing if you want to succeed and watch it unfold.
I had to pray for the “willingness to “so much of the time in my first two years and
it took that long – with me here – 24/7- in chat and at the fellowship hearing other perspectives
of both sides of the coin(s) and from those members of which already had their recovery and were maintaining it here.
I secretly modeled myself after what they said had worked for them and tried it.
Honestly I have treated this site as my own personal sponsor,
this room and the message board and all of us working it and sharing with each other everyday.
This is a powerful and transformative place
if health and serenity is your goal
and you want to gain some insight and forgiveness in your life now.
Do a little meditation on YOU
and your parents or caregivers that you had growing up…
go into a peaceful place, that you can visualize being – liberated, totally and utterly free to just BE TOTALLY YOU – peacefully, freely
and you can even pretend you already have everything you ever wanted in this ideal life. Visualize and
call them in — to pretend- so we can feel until or
to help us suspend our belief until we can feel that way without pretending. Allowing you to feel positive and supportive of your inner child is a wonderful feeling that we can experience any time
the only one stopping us from feeling accepted is us.
Examine your family’s root beliefs, that you picked up along the way adopting as your own. Do these beliefs support you as an adult in your life now?
I only knew one way – it was the known and it is a dead-end street, it’s a trap.
With HP/god all things are possible, this
light and energy
is what HP brings to us, love, forgiveness, transformation and infinite possibilities.
Ok so back to the meditation:
get to a peaceful place in your mind’s eye and breathe deeply and slowly and relax.
Visualize whatever you can and want to about this idealic environment you are picturing yourself in and just
suspend your belief if you can’t- get willing, pretend to be willing and try.
Genuinely and sincerely praying for willingness to get there works too. Release your expectations and give yourself a chance.
See yourself as a little tiny helpless innocent pure loving babe.
Notice and accept how beautiful and amazing the sight of your infant self is.
Know this is your pure self before all of the pain and un-forgiveness got picked up along the way,
before our experiences with abuse/mistreatment.
How can YOU not compassionately love this innocent child?
Forgive this infant baby and hand over all of the pain stored therein.
It is all a lie – the pain, the disease – it is born of ego == fear, doubt, walls and
fear leads us to all other dark emotions (the negatives) and places.
Always remember to accept that we did the best we could with what we had at the time when looking back into your past, family or triggers.
It is healthy to do this to your caregivers as well, seeing them as innocent and pure love at one time, we all start out this way, we are all innocent and pure. This is the soul you want to forgive, the babe behind the abuse.
Forgiving is how we liberate us from the pain of the past – it is not for them, we do it to free us. Don’t even think about them in terms of,
‘ “do they forgive me?” ‘ because it is first off, none of our business and secondly it doesn’t matter. What matters is our self-responsibility and our actions
if you forgive you, you are free and liberated from the judgment.
It is not up to us, if they forgive or not and it has no bearing on whether we can forgive us and them or not.
Forgiveness is divine and it is personal/spiritual. It is between YOU and the god/HP of your own understanding.
HP leads us to the light and incredible vibrant health, love, total, pure acceptance
and the forgiveness/transformation of all things.
HP does not measure, judge and grade us. God is pure loving in action.
Love your baby IC (inner child) and get willing to keep practising this forgiveness meditation often.
Focus on what you can appreciate in your current reality, this moment and
whatever it is, remember to always bring it back to YOU (in action/responsibility because you are the only person you can control and change) in the light of HP/god
and in surrendering ourselves, our ideas and our knowns.
Surrendering it all – opens us up to a new reality full of unlimited and infinite possibilities.
Today my world is one with a kaleidoscopic world view
of pure un-bounded love for all.