DSF10 TOPICS: “Higher Power, Humility, Judgement”. 1-27-2010

DSF10 TOPICS:  ”Higher Power, Humility, Judgement”. 1-27-2010

 

hi everyone, I could really relate to the previous sharers

my self-talk was very negative

and motivated by my guilt and worst fears

when I got here, I was told it was “false guilt”

because guilt is something you get after you do something that you think is “wrong”

this was guilt in advance

for just/simply trying to focus on me

when my mind was drilling me and beating me up, trying to get me to focus on others

which was my – habit

the more I came here and listened and applied the program to my life, to me

the more I could see how terribly sick I was

and listening to others, who seemed much healthier than me

I took the new perspective

and allowed myself to consider what they were saying

this helped my mind to open up

and with working it, it opened up even more

I judged everyone and labeled them, put them into compartments

I actually thought I was not being judgemental or manipulative

but after a few years in program, it was very obvious to me

through a series of working my program for me and sticking to that

and getting the spiritual reward for that commitment

and slowly letting go of any and all expectations ( the good and the bad) and the constant comparisons I was doing to me

holding this ridiculous standard of perfection which is only an illusion

my judgements did begin to fall away

as I did the forgiveness work – I felt humility

and the more I did it, the more I realized how I didn’t have a clue

about what other’s should do

I can only know what is right and healthiest for me

HP, is what I surrender myself to

I cannot be demanding or tempting or trying to test my god/HP

I know being angry at HP didn’t help me one iota

it is like waiting for toast or a watched pot of boiling water

it seems to take forever as you stand there waiting, watching like a hawk

I have found, that I have to detach from HP as well

when I am searching for answers

I cant just stare, demanding my answer from HP/god – it does not work that way

in fact that is the way to get it to stop – because god does not get tempted

temptation is the antithesis of god/HP

I have to surrender all of that in prayer, let it go completely

and don’t stare, sit on or wait expectantly for the outcome/answer

I have to release all expectations to actually see

releasing expectations while focusing on god/HP it feels like faith in action

then it will come to me in a flash or a sudden “sign”

this program does truly work

putting me first, loving me as my own first priority and taking that risk

has changed my life radically

and I am forever grateful to be working it with all of you

thanks, done