DSF16 Today’s TOPICS: “Feelings, Delegation, Responsibility” 2-11-2010

Today’s TOPICS: “Feelings, Delegation, Responsibility”  2-11-2010

Hi all – grateful to be here as always

my feelings

I used to suffer from my compulsive feelings and they ran my life, choices and decisions

I was consumed constantly with fear/anxiety and guilt

I had false guilt (which is – guilt in advance)

my emotions influenced me so much

and it all felt very real/concrete – like I couldn’t change them

but what I have found is my feelings are influenced by my surroundings

and my thoughts, my attitudes, my perception

I know this because – the fear that I lived with

as I worked to disentagle myself from obsessing on the future, the past and other people

was that I was actually creating how I felt

previously – I had thought my feelings were like the “truth”

real and reflective of reality

may be  a better way to describe it

it is about my perceptions and how I react

for me, they dont go away

I have had to deal with them, the unresolved emotions

as they just fester

and come out at inappropriate times

in inapproriate ways if i don’t

face them directly and work them through

it took a lot of acceptance and forgiveness work on my part

as a kid, I grew up learning to take responsibility for others

my mom is acoa too and it is what she knows

my entire family is very codependent and sick

they are all emotionally enmeshed with each other

I am so grateful that this program has worked for me, that I stuck it out

long enough to become teachable

today I am – emotionally autonomous

I am detached for the most part from other’s personal issues, feelings, attitudes

of course, like everything, it takes daily practice for me to not own that for them and avoid the self

I can naturally – slip- by taking on other’s people’s junk IFAOs (issues, feelings, attitudes, opinions & “stuff”) and quickly lose myself in that

so I do what I have always done that works in this program

I re-focus back onto me, MYOB (mind my own business) and detach with love from them

if I am offended or triggered, I face that issue in me right away

it is my responsibility – to me

being free emotionally and not tied to any outside person anymore (to dictate my emotions)

is an awesome experience to feel whole, serene

I wont ever go back to how I was before

it was said by Gandhi, if you want to change the world

be the change you want to see in this world

at first this overwhelmed me

but little by little, I was able to get – with me and deal with what I can change & control

now I see it as an incredible miracle and a Blessing

me changing – that gives me hope

and I can take action for me now

it is very empowering to change the self, for yourself

when my perception first began to change

I was so grateful

I don’t know how, it sort of just happened naturally, as I did all the other program work

I was doing with myself emotionally

and then my attitude and perception followed like a shadow, changing for the better

changing as a reflection of the other changes I was making

take it odaat (one day at a time, one minute at a time) and do what you can- right now

that is all any of us can do – be the change you crave!  Empower yourself, you are worth it

done