DSF23 “HP, Freedom, Happiness”

Topics:  ”HP (“Higher Power”), Freedom, Happiness” 3-3-2010 AM

Hi. I’m very grateful to be here

when I used to hear how about how happiness is an inside job

and that most ppl make up their minds to be happy or not

it used to drive me nuts and I would get so angry

like I was choosing to be miserable or something

I did not like being in pain

and I did think others had the problem

not me

I had to face lots of things about myself

addicted to people, addicted to ignoring self and addicted to chaos

I was a slave to my emotional reactions

in fact someone just said to me from program yesterday that,  ”not reacting is impossible”

and I just answered them with an “ok”

that way i can validate their feelings without saying anything/arguing

I have discovered that it is true ~ happiness is an inside job

I was fixated on the pain, the problems

and bc of being super ADD – I find fault easily, naturally

always picking things apart mentally – obsessively

It is how my mind tackles things – on all sides relentlessly

I did that to myself too for so long

and now

I choose to focus on the positive, empowering things

and in 2007 I made a big conscious decision about it

about changing my focus – and it changed my life.

It changed my perspective and my attitude

its affected my personality too, in a god way thankfully

aha Freudian slip there :p

in a good way^

god knows

how to rib me, to get me to laugh – by hitting me with the truth

which opens me up to drop my guarded defenses and hear the heart of it.

HP (god) is always there waiting

I also call HP higher intelligence power, my HP is pretty HiP

I had so much to surrender

so much to forgive myself for

today I do feel – free inside

I am free of all of that chaotic junk I grew up with

don’t get me wrong, it takes constant work

because it is all about my thoughts

I think my bf thinks I waste my time here in al-anon or we’re all just happily chatting with each other

I am here to work out these issues

it takes work to have the right thoughts, positive thoughts, constructive actions and behavior

naturally some days are much more challenging than others.

I didn’t know I had choices in my life

al-anon has given me all of that

anyway it is a miracle and a Blessing how much my life and I have changed

I try to focus on gratitude – in the smallest of ways

because gratitude for the ordinary allows your entire life to become that much more extraordinary.

today I have inner joy – again like I did when I was a little girl – a well that over flows and is infinite

I feel the presence of my HP

and with HP/god all things are possible

done