DSF59 Topics: “Character Assets & Defects; Self Acceptance; Progress not Perfection.”
Topics: “Character Assets & Defects; Self Acceptance; Progress not Perfection.” from 9-22-2010 am mtg
I am grateful to be here ~ hiya all!
I was an out of control control freak
I was a professional worrier and fault finder.
I want to say that when we focus on what we don’t like
or want, fear for example
we only bring it to us.
We are feeding into that negative energy and actually actively manifesting it in our lives.
Worry is a huge waste of time
it helps no one
all it does it take you away from being productive and positively empowering in YOUr life right now.
I too, was terrified to put me first or think of my needs
but I was a resentful mess
and no one could read my mind or know what I needed
nor did they really care
others have to be concerned with their own feelings, issues and needs
they cannot do it for us and we cannot do it for them.
That is the co-dependent dynamic – trap- worry about others to the detriment of the self. It helps no one!
As I work on me, setting my boundaries that allow me to take better care of me
emotionally, physically, intellectually, spiritually, financially, sexually, professionally and socially
all of these aspects of my being/life interacting in my many different roles
how can I expect everyone/anyone else to fill my needs?
I do know all that time before program, I was hyper focused on what they were doing wrong in their lives
as I sat back and measured, graded, judged, compared them-
what did that do for me?
Who wants to be the judge for the entire world?
Now I spend my time working on me, enjoying being human
loving me with the love that god has for us
(well, working and trying to work towards it). When I feel bad
or get tense
I can look to my thoughts
and see what train of thought they are on…
if I see (hear, witness) me saying things like
they need to do this or that
man, then I know right there
that I am in a hopeless position and feeling stuck because of these thoughts.
Sure, it is scary to stand up for us
because we were taught to be quiet and “stuff” whatever is bothering us or whatever will cause “a problem.”
Or we were told we didn’t matter.
All of that junk in your past you can look at and trace back
identify it as junk from others and let it go as a lie from the disease
or the abuse others felt and took into themselves.
What they believe is their choice just as it is mine to believe too or to reject instead.
There is no reason for me not to love me, take care of me and be happy to do so. Today I own my worth.
As I change me and feel empowered
it gets easier and easier.
If you worry or fear- well, fear is about tomorrow
get into today and give the tomorrow over to HP/god/nature/universe.
Right now is reality
right now you can make a change and/or forgive you and start anew.
We can start anew one hundred times a day if we need to
keep practicing letting go
practice putting you first ~ it is okay, it is progress not perfection.
Progress means we try to get better/healthier, we strive to do our best and accept our efforts with loving kindness.
Perfection is not the goal, health and kindness are more important.
If you don’t, your kids will only learn how to put themselves aside
and they too become co-dependent enablers- people afraid to face themselves honestly and without respect/dignity.
The only one we can control or change is us
of course the A wants us to take on their blame, so they can stay stuck and so do we as long as we reject ourselves/personal power.
If you worry – it is like a rocking chair, it
gets you no where but keeps you busy under the delusion you are being productive. It is a lie of the disease.
When I landed I had tons of guilt
guilt for trying to focus on me
that was false guilt as it wasn’t real because
guilt comes after you do something you deem as “wrong.”
I was not doing anything wrong by focusing on me
it just felt so damned foreign because I had never done it before.
The relationship we have with ourselves, is the most important relationship of our lives…
we are born with us and we die with us, we live in our own heads and hearts.
If you don’t love you and stand up for you ~ no one else will.
People treat you as disposable as long as you treat yourself that way- they take your lead.
Know that YOU are worth it and so much more!
I hope you stay for the miracle!