DSF59 Topics: “Character Assets & Defects; Self Acceptance; Progress not Perfection.”

Topics:  “Character Assets & Defects; Self Acceptance; Progress not Perfection.” from 9-22-2010 am mtg

I am grateful to be here ~ hiya all!

I was an out of control control freak

I was a professional worrier and fault finder.

I want to say that when we focus on what we don’t like

or want, fear for example

we only bring it to us.

We are feeding into that negative energy and actually actively manifesting it in our lives.

Worry is a huge waste of time

it helps no one

all it does it take you away from being productive and positively empowering in YOUr life right now.

I too, was terrified to put me first or think of my needs

but I was a resentful mess

and no one could read my mind or know what I needed

nor did they really care

others have to be concerned with their own feelings, issues and needs

they cannot do it for us and we cannot do it for them.

That is the co-dependent dynamic – trap- worry about others to the detriment of the self.  It helps no one!

As I work on me, setting my boundaries that allow me to take better care of me

emotionally, physically, intellectually, spiritually, financially, sexually, professionally and socially

all of these aspects of my being/life interacting in my many different roles

how can I expect everyone/anyone else to fill my needs?

I do know all that time before program, I was hyper focused on what they were doing wrong in their lives

as I sat back and measured, graded, judged, compared them-

what did that do for me?

Who wants to be the judge for the entire world?

yuck

Now I spend my time working on me, enjoying being human

loving me with the love that god has for us

(well, working and trying to work towards it).  When I feel bad

or get tense

I can look to my thoughts

and see what train of thought they are on…

if I see (hear, witness) me saying things like

they need to do this or that

man, then I know right there

that I am in a hopeless position and feeling stuck because of these thoughts.

Sure, it is scary to stand up for us

because we were taught to be quiet and “stuff” whatever is bothering us or whatever will cause “a problem.”

Or we were told we didn’t matter.

All of that junk in your past you can look at and trace back

identify it as junk from others and let it go as a lie from the disease

or the abuse others felt and took into themselves.

What they believe is their choice just as it is mine to believe too or to reject instead.

There is no reason for me not to love me, take care of me and be happy to do so.  Today I own my worth.

As I change me and feel empowered

it gets easier and easier.

If you worry or fear- well, fear is about tomorrow

get into today and give the tomorrow over to HP/god/nature/universe.

Right now is reality

right now you can make a change  and/or forgive you and start anew.

We can start anew one hundred times a day if we need to

keep practicing letting go

practice putting you first ~ it is okay, it is progress not perfection.

Progress means we try to get better/healthier, we strive to do our best and accept our efforts with loving kindness.

Perfection is not the goal, health and kindness are more important.

If you don’t, your kids will only learn how to put themselves aside

and they too become co-dependent enablers- people afraid to face themselves honestly and without respect/dignity.

The only one we can control or change is us

of course the A wants us to take on their blame, so they can stay stuck and so do we as long as we reject ourselves/personal power.

If you worry – it is like a rocking chair, it

gets you no where but keeps you busy under the delusion you are being productive.  It is a lie of the disease.

When I landed I had tons of guilt

guilt for trying to focus on me

that was false guilt as it wasn’t real because

guilt comes after you do something you deem as “wrong.”

I was not doing anything wrong by focusing on me

it just felt so damned foreign because I had never done it before.

The relationship we have with ourselves, is the most important relationship of our lives…

we are born with us and we die with us, we live in our own heads and hearts.

If you don’t love you and stand up for you ~ no one else will.

People treat you as disposable as long as you treat yourself that way- they take your lead.

Know that YOU are worth it and so much more!

I hope you stay for the miracle!

done

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