DSF62-2 Topic: Issues! Happy Birthday to me Share!
Topic: Happy Birthday to me Share! Issues!
This share is very different today as the below is not from a meeting share. It is an entry I posted on a board and below it are some personal journal notes.
I posted the below on a board from Sunday, October 5, 2010.
Anonymous question: What is more important to be right or to be happy?
This is a great question, one that I focused on hard to resolve within myself 2 years ago. I too wanted to be both lol. That is natural greediness on our parts. It came up in conversations with my mom, about my current boyfriend (at that time). I spent two solid days, weighing this dilemma -bc I so did want to be right haha.
The moment we choose being right (or having anything to prove) we are choosing ego. I know acoas see things in black and white and I do this less and less everywhere in my life except spiritually and energetically speaking. The choice is a black and white one, do u pick light or darkness (and all things associated with each)?
In our arguments between my bf/H and I ~ when he chooses to shut down (pick -no- for example, he would say something like, ‘ “so we’re not going to get along today?” ‘ – I say – no, that is a choice u are making. I am willing to get along, even though we disagree on something.
Why let a difference of opinion ruin an otherwise “perfectly” imperfect, wonderful day? After five days of straight rain – today looks glorious!! ahh, the simple things, rain, light, breathing.
I tell him the (in regards to the commitment to my relationships) -the “no” choice, aka failure is not a choice for me, it is not in my repertoire any more. The no choice is an admission to accept the abuse from the past - I wont take it now – I know I do have choices and millions of them, if I stay open-minded. Picking no, shuts all of that possibility down.
What I mean by this is: I try to find a solution now, rather than finding fault and giving up so easily on me, our relationship, in general and/or on each other. If I give up, than the failure is mine bc I am choosing not to try for myself- and I won’t/will not do that anymore.
I say you can perceive and pick failure but this is not what I am going to do anymore. I hope this does not continue bc I will gradually detach and actually move away from you bc this is what I am now about and encouraging positive solutions is my focus. I am very willing to support, love and talk about anything always.
We have been thru some major stuff the last few days, lots of growth in our dynamic. Now that the house renovations are done (for now) – there are no more distractions, plus we fought as a distraction during the first two years – ugh lol.
So in prayer today (I do it midday, same time every day) the question came thru again, after we had dealt with this issue a few days ago and then serendipitously lol (or divinely planted) I see it here on the board, cheeky HP- spreading that healing around!
This is what I wrote down right after I posted and immediately after prayer/praying
(so please lol please ~ “Take what you like and leave the rest”, it’s just my thoughts)
Greed = evil/ego
Love is God.
The answer can only be “Yes! I choose to be happy.”
The moment we go to/choose “right” it is evil, fearful, boastful, controlling, manipulative (pushing one’s own agenda and forcing outcomes), it is a trap!
Putting any outside source/thing in front of me or my relationship(s) in relevance or importance is misguided and misdirected and I keep the relationship with the god of my understanding close to my inner witness for self-accountability. The truth is within us. We are a spark of that Divine Light/God aka HP (Higher Power), I like to cal it Highest Intelligence.
The moment you take credit (ego) for that which the Divine has provided/gifted to you, you are off course and again misdirected by the/your own mind/ego.
It is a choice to make, to believe/think that you are not worth pure love. It is choosing to believe and buy into all of the pain of the past and the pain others threw at you. We pick it up and take it, own it and that (ultimately) is a choice. You always have a choice.
All things are infinitely possible with God, including living breathing miracles in action, manifesting exponentially AND total forgiveness, instant liberation and transformation but/and you must surrender to get there.
As I identify and peel away the layers of lies, ego, bullshit and pain (abuse) I invite the divine to live in more space within me. Thanks be to God!
You are the key. Kitty: Everyone is You… humanity the animal. Basest (purest, simplified, eloquent… perhaps naive even!) of all us… have the most compassion. Animals and children forgive effortlessly and love divinely… they are our purest element which is spirit/god: the energetic force of emphatic compassionate willingness to forgive exponentially while loving kindness creatively divinely bubbles inspiringly everywhere! Simplify and quiet down and you may catch a glimpse of it!
When you are lost: LOST: listen, obey, surrender & transform (miracles).
HP Higher Intelligence Power is Always what does the most good for the most people. It is not tempting and/or self-indulgent.